


The tragedy of being a politician

by backtothefuture



Category: The Politician (TV 2019)
Genre: F/M, Falling In Love, M/M, Maybe out of character, Meeting again after three years, River Barkley Lives, Second Chances, Suicide Attempt, alternate universe where river doesn't have to die cause I said so, and has a sister, possibly, trying to run a campaign, while your candidate falls in love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-03
Updated: 2020-07-19
Packaged: 2020-11-22 07:34:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20870534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/backtothefuture/pseuds/backtothefuture
Summary: Payton tries it again. With his group of friends and former enemies, he hopes to win against the senator who doesn't give a shit. Unfortunately, he meets his former lover in New York and while he thought he drowned his emotions the day River attempted suicide he can't help himself and gets drawn to the man.(or basically a try on season two with the mix that River never died but moved and appears in New York to mess with Payton, not on purpose obviously)





	1. the ghost of the past

**Author's Note:**

> The politician is a good show. No doubts. But River was killed off and that's a no for me. Also I wrote this in the webs of night so it may be not my best work. But I try to continue in daylight

Payton was waiting for his girlfriend to arrive. Like an uptight thing, he paced the street in front of the little diner they were so fond of. Not the one in which he had been spied on. No, he wouldn't go in there. Firstly because it was in California and his new home for the past three years was New York but secondly it had been a major disappointment. You had to trust your waiter in a dinner that was the golden rule. 

Now with his new ambition to become senator of this city he hoped for a chilly evening. Without snarky people around him. Taking a drag of his cigarette he it them in the trash next to the lantern. A bad habit he'd picked on. Snow lay heavy on the surface. Thick and white it nearly screamed Christmas. But also accidents. 

Thankfully Payton didn't have to drive. Unlike the poor bastard who passed him. Well protected from the weather he wore a thick jacket and a scarf was tied around his neck. Though a cap didn't require good protection against the New Yorker Wind. Neither could the giant headphones he wore. His black hair danced in the wind and Payton could see thick glasses on his nose. The biker didn't slow down one bit. Because of the snow that was laying on the street, he changed his route onto the pavement smiling at Payton as he drove by but nearly colliding with Alice. 

Payton could hear her scream briefly then hushed words of apologies and an "It's okay" from Alice. Then she was by his side. Her face was kinda serious while her lips draw a thin line. "Should we go in?" she asked firmly and he nodded. Happy to escape the cold. 

As they sat and waited for their food, he asked her if she was okay. "What are you referring to?", she demanded to know in a voice cold as ice. "The bike accident." She nodded slightly seeming kind of annoyed to answer. Stretching her hands she examined her fingers. "Well, I didn't get hurt." She made a short pause. Then Alice continued. "And it seems like River's also living here." For a short moment, time seemed to pause as Payton tried to understand what she'd said. Then he'd nodded like she'd said the weather seemed sunny and continued his meal. 

The last time he had seen River was the day of his attempted suicide. It was also the last day Payton had been feeling something. He missed it. Although he had felt fear, hopelessness, loneliness, and anger altogether. 

Sometimes he could recall everything. The sun shining through the window, the silence of it all. Then himself asking what the hell River was thinking. River speaking to him, saying the loved him. The gun would be always unreal to Payton. Black and heavy in the hands of a delicate boy. Who looked at Payton in a sad and apologizing way. He knew he had stopped him, getting the gun out of his hand. River had cried a long time after this, but he didn't fight. When his sister came from University which took two hours and his parents from Toronto, he couldn't look at them. But they understood. His sister Mira had thanked Payton with tears in her eyes as her hands shook violently. Later he found out that they moved somewhere else. To the countryside. A place without pressure. So they told him. 

He stopped missing him, he stopped loving him.  
___________________________

After dinner, Payton and Alice walked through the central park. Arm in arm like a married couple. Since Alice had stopped her own wedding to be at his side, he owed her a ring. He knew she wanted it. And he did too. 

But somehow he couldn't ask her. It felt too off in a position like that. When they had to win a battle against the senator.  
Though the most thing he thought of was the fact that River apparently lived here. Maybe he had moved a couple of months ago. Or he had been here the entire time Payton had gone his ways. Next to him, he could hear Alice talk, the scrunch of their steps in the snow. 

In his mind, the only melody was the duett he and River played when the latter had visited him. His heart clenched thinking about vanishing memories. How it had felt the first time River touched his face. His soothing words. Their first kiss. The late-night talks on the phone. River rambling about some TV show he liked, his worries about the future. Payton's cheeks flamed up. Images of their first time also came crashing through the guarded line of memories. River had been the first and last guy he'd been with. He shifted a bit, feeling bad about the fact that he'd been in a relationship back then. Alice noticed his behavior and stopped. "Payton are you okay?" A simple question but Alice asked it without real interest. And he nodded not wanting her to think much of anything. 

James was minding his business as usual. Planning the campaign and eating chips along the way.  
That was until the moment Payton came storming in their dorm room with a mixed expression on his face. And yes they hadn't found a better place for campaigning. The budget was lower than the moral on a sinking ship. 

At first, Payton couldn't tell him, moving around in the room. Throwing his coat off and falling on the bed. Burying his head in his pillow like a preschooler. Then he spat it out like a gossip girl herself. "River's in town." "River Barkley?" "Now River Phoenix, yes River Barkley you dickhead." 

Payton groaned loudly while James pushed a chip into his waiting mouth. "I don't see a problem here. I mean sure you two were together in high school or rather having an affair and now you met him." "Alice did." James lifted an eyebrow in confusing. And Payton elaborated. "He bumped in her with his bike." "Even better you didn't even see him. I don't think anyone will make assumptions or whirl up dirt. After all, Alice's your girlfriend so no one gets suspicious." He tried to feel nothing when he said that, but deep down he knew he could never heal from the scar Alice had left on James' heart. But right now the campaign was important. He stood up from his chair and knelt next to Payton. "Hey it's okay you'll probably never see him again. It's New York for fuck's sake. And the campaign is good. We got social media going for us." Payton's smile was weak but it was a smile.


	2. New York's tiny after all

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With the election rolling into town, tension rises and Payton's past is spied on.  
That's even better when the past seems to catch him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A big thank you for everyone reading and liking the story. And I am especially thanking the guy who comment. It's good to hear feedback. Here's chapter 2.

The library seemed to be deserted. Just a few souls were sitting at the tables with the green lanterns on. Hidden behind thick books or bend over a notebook to scribble down ideas. It was nearly five o'clock in the afternoon. Outside the people left work to get to their families. Or to the next bar. There had been a time when Payton had been one of the second kind. But his misadventure with alcohol was off the table. As well as the spirit itself. 

He still wore his coat, even though the temperature between the bookshelves was nearly tropical. Determined he walked a straight line to the table where James and Mcafee were gathering around. Some folders sprawled on the tiny desk, pencils wildered around. 

They made startling sounds when he put the paper he'd held in his hands onto the table. "What in the devil's name is this?", he knew his voice was a bit too hight but given the circumstances, he had the right to get a bit picky. 

Mcaffee looked a bit shocked but took the paper in her small hands. "How Payton Hobart drove his own career into a wall. And now he's doing it again..." She laid the paper down. 

And James took it immediately. "Twenty - fourth-year old Newcomer Payton Hobart is determined to crash the New Yorker Politic Party but little does he knew this ain't a high school position. For anyone uneducated on this term: The young Californian has always been interested in politics. During his high school years, he tried to get the position of Student Body President. But failed to accomplish his goal. Since then there are no records regarding any political positiveness." 

He sighed and put the paper in his folder. "Well, this just a boulevard paper. Nothing too serious." James said trying to calm Mcafee and Payton. Fortunately, Mcafee nodded in agreement. "She's still vulnerable. And we know this. If we play our cards right we can win this thing." 

Payton shook his head too tired to say anything back. Just today the press had asked him a million questions. He thought he did well but now the paper was ripping him apart. "You guys I can't," he said raising his hands in defeat before they could stop him he went out into the cold New York day. 

\----------------------------------

River had tried to drive with his bike but the winter had put that option up to rest. The snow reigned in New York and no Californian Boy could change that. He knew that but given his hate of the subway and any other public transportation he had tried several times. After his nearly crash with a blonde girl, he'd stop and now he was squeezed like a tuna in a train a few meters under the surface. 

The next station wasn't his but when he'd hear the lady spoke he just break through the crowd into the Airness. He knew he looked pathetic but he hated to be in crowded places. Screw him for choosing New York.

Until last year he'd lived in Minnesota, in a quiet village with a hockey team he'd attended. His sister had teased him for being a country boy but he'd loved to live here. He could ride along the snowy fields or skate on the frozen river. 

But his heart had craved something else at the same time. So he'd looked at programs and decided to become a teacher. Sure with his parent's money, he didn't need to work. But he wanted to do something. And the opportunity to teach kids the things they needed to survive in a world like this was an opportunity. So, New York, had it been then.

Breathing in and breathing out as he'd learned from his mother he looked at the entrance of Central Park. But he couldn't go there he needed to get to the library before it closed. Stumbling through mad New Yorkers he crossed the avenue till he arrived at wooden doors of the library. 

Grabbing his books out of his bag he nearly stumbled into a guy leaving the library. " Sorry", he said until he also caught the guy's gaze. For a moment River believed he'd eaten form the cookies his friend Dan made for "special occasions". There, on the steps before him, stood Payton Hobart himself. The next senator. 

Well obviously also his former boyfriend (wait... had he been his boyfriend back then?). 

He hadn't seen him since the day he'd lay in Payton's arms after his suicide attempt. Payton's hurt face still haunted River in his dreams. He'd talked to his therapist about it. And she told him that it would be better to talk with Payton about all of this. But spoiler he didn't. He never wrote one letter or called or snapped or facebooked or twittered. Actually, he avoided social media altogether. 

The books in his arms felt like bricks each worth of seventy pounds. He knew that his sweat was running down his arms. But he hoped he eventually looked okay. Often his therapist would tell him that he seemed to be collected with his calm expression and caring attitude. Well, most of the time he faked it.

Fake it till you make it. Focusing back on the main event (and Payton was always the main event) the person of interest didn't do anything and for a short moment River thought he would just disappear but he didn't. 

With his long coat floating in the wind he looked so small, his hands stuck against his side. The same hair cut on his head and the same expression on his face as many years ago. River had missed him. Deep down between rearranging his new life and his depression he always thought about Payton. 

Unfortunately, his brain wasn't really working. That would explain the next outcome quite well. "Hey, Payton nice seeing you man." Without even knowing why he bumped his shoulder like Payton happened to be just an old sport's mate and not the person who saved his goddamn life. "Right.", Payton stammered. His eyes looked too huge for his head. Nearly falling out. He didn't wear glasses, unlike River who had to suffer from useless eyes. Hadn't he worn them on occasion? They stood in a moment of silence. 

"Hey, I better get going," Payton said, not meeting his eyes. He started walking but was cut short when River rediscovered that this new change of life should be considered rather than being shoved into the darkest corner of the room. "Or you could join me at the bar downtown, maybe sharing stories?" he asked. 

He needed Payton to stay here. Like a flower needed the sun. It was dangerous but lifesaving. He also knew he'd call his sister after all. "If you want of course." Payton looked like a deer caught in headlines but was polite as always. Like a salesman. "Nice, I am so curious about everything. How are the others? Did Mcafee prank the Mcafee security? And hey did you win this election?" Putting his books in his bag he'd agreed with himself to better pay the renewal than to let Payton go. 

As he saw that Payton was behind him he slung his arm around his slim shoulders. "It's so good to see you.", he whispered against the New York wind and he smiled when Payton nodded. Just sightly although he booked it as a great success.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So did you all listen to Ben Platt's music or is it just me? Have a nice Sunday!


	3. Crises and surprises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Astrid gets a glimpse of her ex-boyfriend.  
While the others are helpless for a moment.  
Until Alice saves the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay first of all: thank you all. It's always a great motivation to see people caring for the story.  
Here's chapter three. I hope it's good but I am not that sure.

Astrid wouldn't have taken a part in this play if she hadn't thought they would win this election. Despite the ungrateful job at the restaurant, she'd rather work there than lose to an older lady with a kinky side. No way. 

But now it seemed their candidate was being killed. Literally. The paper nearly ripped him apart after they got the information they needed. She sighed. Payton hadn't exactly lost. 

Even though the press tried to put that impression into the people's memories. Tactically they did great. Making Payton look like a toddler rather than a politician they'd had to take seriously. 

With an energetic throw, she catapulted the paper into one of these green trashcans. Enough with the depressing sides. Papers were old news. Social media took a more important role in the electors' lives. And as she checked Twitter she could see more likes for Payton's speech and appearance. T

he old witch had nothing on them. She shut her phone down and walked to the building where they ordered the banners and pens for the campaign. 

Inside the building, Alice and James were waiting for her. The two of them were sitting at different sides of the sofa, not exactly talking with each other. More than ones Astrid asked herself what had caused such strange behavior but as always she didn't exactly care enough. When she stepped into the foyer James greeted here friendly, not so Alice who didn't look at her at all. 

"Fuck you, too.", she muttered and focused her attention on James.

The short guy seemed to have escaped the army with his shaven head and his combat shoes, nevertheless Astrid liked him for his loyalty. Although it had caused him much. 

"So it's nice that you could make it. As head of our finance section, I present you the following data.", James began to explain. 

His hands were dancing over the keyboard. Clicking and opening. Astrid sat next to him on the sofa. Looking over his shoulder. For a few minutes, she'd listened while he explained then they got a message from Infinity. "I thought she's busy with her musical." , James muttered while changing the background into Twitter. 

Turning his head to Alice he said:" Al, here's a message from Infinity." 

Without looking from her laptop she'd nodded not really listening. So James and Astrid looked at each other and agreed to look at her message themselves. 

It happened to be a blurred foto of a bar maybe downtown. Not crowded. A few people were sitting at tables. 

"Why would she sent us this?", Astrid asked, her mind was racing and she analyzed the photography quite well. 

Then her eyes caught the title. "Newbie Hobart hitting it off with unknown person" - Who's the mysterious guy? #privatepolitician And after this explanation, she could spot the idiot himself at a table near a large window, his smile quite obvious on his face. Regarding the other, she had to take a closer look. But after Astrid was sure she wanted to strangle him. It had to be River. It was always him. She groaned as James practically squashed his eyes into the monitor to get a closer look. 

"The heck is that guy?" he asked. 

Nervous he looked up to her. Partly because he suspected the same person. Closing the laptop James made a try anyway. 

"It isn't River is it?" 

___________________________________________

The others had also got Infinity's message and were gathered in the small door room, James shared with Payton and another guy. Thankfully the latter wasn't around. Otherwise, he would have called the cops a thousand times. Everybody was practically shouting whilst trying to make their point. 

So it took a few minutes till Astrid could demand a silence so tensional she'd thought someone was going to get murdered in an instant. On her bet ticket stood Payton followed closely by River. 

On the bed Skye held a pillow in her hand, that was no doubt the equivalent to Payton. Next to her Mcafee was still on Twitter to sort out the mess while Alice just looked at the ceiling. James, on the other hand, was still trying to call Payton for the millionth time today. 

"I mean he has to come home somehow.", he stated holding his phone by his side after an unsuccessful try. 

Outside the night had set its wings, with the sun's vanishing through the skyscrapers. The streetlamps began to glow and the cars shoved their headlights to the darkening evening. Skye huffed to that, gripping the pillow even tighter. 

"I wouldn't count on it." She said dryly. 

For a second James sideglanced to Alice who hadn't said anything to Payton's behavior. 

"I can't believe I am supporting a guy controlled by his dick. That's so cliche."

"Well, they haven't seen each other since High school. I think they have much to talk about.", Mcafee pointed out, her typing a steady melody in the room. 

"Come on, I am sure they fuck right now.", Skye countered. 

Taking the only chair Astrid nodded thoughtfully. "You know that's not the thing I am worried about. Okay, if that comes out he's fucked but what I am trying to say: We have to make it clear to Payton that River is off the table. He has absolute zero chances to get any higher if he crawls deeper into River's mess. And we all know what that means.." 

"Yeah shooting the bitch!" Skye demanded while James and Mcafee were loudly shouting "No".

"We are not killing Payton," James said certainly.

"Who spoke of him.", Skye mumbled. 

But said nothing else to that matter. Astrid groaned. 

"Okay, so we will not kill anyone. That's clearer than a shot of Whiskey, that I will need if we can't solve it." 

The others nodded in agreement. "

Alice, what's your opinion?" James asked suddenly. 

Everybody's attention got caught up in her as she slowly rubbed her palms together out of anger or anxiety no one could say. 

"I think Payton will soon realize what's best. That's a fact. For instance: We're engaged.", she said and showed her surprised friends a golden ring.

Everybody in the room gasped slightly like this could just be the plot twist they needed.

"Last night he asked me. So I think he's still on the track." 

Skye made an unbelievable sound and Mcafee gratulated. While Astrid nodded considerately. 

"I'll prepare a speech with him tomorrow when he's back from his little adventure.", she stated. 

James turned away as they got on how to make this new information public. 

"Oh Payton", he murmured defeated as he stood at the window watching the rain roll down the glass.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So no Payton no River but they'll appear again in the next one. I swear.


	4. Winter's tale

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Payton and River have dinner together and indulge in memories.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, 
> 
> I am deeply sorry to update that late. I am not entirely convinced if I can pull this story through.  
I'll try.  
I heard the second season is not that good. Any thoughts?

The window was fogged at the frame. To opaque to see through. Just the right place to sit as the day vanished before them.  
The bar where they found themselves in, was nearly empty. A young girl was bartending while a bulky looking guy tried to repair the ancient phonograph that stood in the corner. 

"So Payton. Already back on the track?", River started the conversation while the awkwardness of this situation was hanging in the air like a pinata, ready to be hit on. 

Sure they had talked a bit about school and everything though it had been lighthearted until now.

His eyes were fixed on Payton, who nodded weakly. His hands hidden in his lap, he seemed to be a bit bloated. Emotions bowling behind the surface. 

River didn't want to crack him but he hoped to get a glimpse of the real Payton he'd had the pleasure to see through their mandarin lessons. He, himself had his arms on the table his body directed towards him.

"Ah, yes I, I am currently running for the senate.", Payton told him.

"Wow, that's great. I always knew you could make it." 

That made Payton look up, his expression was unreadable.

"I don't know.", he said in a sad voice. He shifted and laid his hands on the white tablecloth. Where they still moved restlessly.

"I don't know River. I, I had sorted every factor out that could let me lose. I didn't care about Infinity or about my mum. I didn't even care about my best friends. I didn't care about you." 

His voice broke a bit, he sniffled and wanted to hide his hands again. Clearly ashamed about his behavior. But River grabbed them. It felt natural to do so. Like it had felt natural when he'd kissed him for the first time. They felt small in his. Although Payton himself was so much greater than he could ever be. Lightly he held onto him.

"Payton don't do this to yourself. You are the one person I know who is truly trying to improve everything while slowly sacrificing himself. Also, I don't like the last part I am sure you will accomplish so many great things. You would never disappoint me." Payton looked at him his eyes searching for signs of lies or deception. But he found none. He smiled. And in that moment River was truly happy to be alive after all.

  
Then the waitress appeared at their table. Just in time. "So what do you want to order?", she said her tone radiating a friendly but business-like manner. 

And Payton disentangled their hands fast just before the waitress could make any assumptions. 

"I presume you don't wanna lit that candle?", she concluded, pointing to the long white candle on the table. 

River didn't say anything still trying to prevent himself from committing homicide. A feeling so cold and heavy as a sharp rock in the deepest of water nestled in his stomach, and caused him great discomfort. 

Payton caught his eyes and looked apologetically, his eyes rimmed red. Just barely seen in the dark shadows of the room. 

  
From the corner, a happy yell came from the other bartender as well as the first notes of Tom Roe's "Baby, I love you". "It's working Bernadette I told you.", the bartender cried over the lyrics. The girl turned to him.

  
"I am trying to take an order here. But good for you.", she also screamed. Her pen clicking on the notebook. The music crammed over everything. Including the clicking of a camera nearby.</p>

<p>It snowed a lot as the moon shined brightly upon them. Without any sound, the flakes gathered around. Fell on the streets and paths and gave the trees a white hat to carry. 

  
As the night moved forward so did the silence. Although in a city as busy as New York it was impossible to create a complete quietness. Nevertheless, as the two of them walked down the snowy paths of Central Park the sound of taxis and car honks were out of their minds. 

  
No one else crossed their way. Just the snowflakes continued to paint the surrounding in a soft white. The streetlamps fought back against the black night, flickering a bit and bathing Payton and River in warm lights. And it showed the smile on River's face and Payton's equal pleased expression. 

  
They stood under the lantern for a bit, River's brown curled hair full of melting snowflakes while Payton's yellow scarf was mostly white. Their walk had token long. 

  
After that awkward dinner at the bar, they had walked through the crowded streets of New York to the emptier paths of the last piece of Nature in New York. It was nearly two a.m. 

"I didn't know I could enjoy the snow as I do know.", River said as he looked up to the snowflakes raining down.

  
Payton followed his gaze. "As a Californian, it's a bit much." 

"Well, you haven't lived if you didn't build a snowman or won a slide competition.", River grinned crossing his arms before his chest. 

  
Amused Payton shook his head. "I can't believe that the sun-starved boy I know likes to play in the snow."

"Ah, Payton you would too if you had to survive in the winter that's called Minnesota.", River laughed, sideglancing to Payton who was still smiling into his scarf. He didn't break eye contact when the other looked at him. 

Inside, his chest arched for the lost boy before him. The way they'd been a long time ago, was still carved into his memory. His ambition to help the people to make this world a better one had always been the reason River had taken an interest in him.  
  
In the beginning, he'd been irritated by Payton. His ambition to become President had been so fascinating but also terrifying. Though River had mostly been scared for Payton. He'd seen the inner turmoil Payton had gone through as he would sometimes snap out of their lesson to get all caged up. 

In the aftermath of his attempted suicide River had often questioned his decision to get romantically involved with Payton. Sure he had liked him much even loved him, but maybe Payton had needed a real friend, not a guy who was still together with his girlfriend. Even though she made him feel miserable.

  
Right now as he gazed into Payton's eyes and saw his vulnerability slipping out like water out of a broken dam, he knew that he would always love Payton. But he didn't know if loving him would help Payton in any way and he longed for him to live a joyful life. The signs in the bar had been bright clear. 

He shifted a bit and the snow crunched under him like a threat. His voice felt like a fake one. "It was so good meeting you. But I am sure you've got much to do being a candidate and all that." 

Payton's eyebrows shot up showing his surprise clearly on his otherwise calm face. Somewhere a church bell rang and a flock of birds crossed the dark sky barely seen by humanity. 

"Are you kidding me?", Payton whispered in an unbelievable tone, his eyes searching River's. He seemed far more certain than he had been in the bar. When their interlaced fingers had him sent to an edge, River thought Payton wasn't ready.

Scrapping his head River he felt more miserable than ever. He didn't want to let him go. "I am just thinking." - "Well, stop that.", Payton interrupted.

His stern tone made River look at him just as Payton surged forward to grip his jacket and kiss him sweetly. In River's memory, it felt like an eternity having Payton this close, but in reality, it barely even lasted three seconds. It reminded him of their first kiss all those years ago.

Payton's eyes were shining like the sea on a sunny day, he still had his fists tangled in River's jacket looking up to him. "Don't mandarin me now.", he whispered. And River laughed a tone so unreal in the quietness of the night. 

"Never.", he grinned and wrapped his arms around Payton's waist, embracing him in a tight caress.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So if anyone wants to be beta reader, feel free to message me :D 
> 
> I hope everyone has a lovely summer. Greetings from Italy.

**Author's Note:**

> It’s been a while... 
> 
> Thanks for reading.  
UPDATE: I will not continue this story.   
But I wanted to say thank you to everybody who cheered for River and Payton. You're the best people. I am very sorry as I haven't been well enough to answer all of you back.


End file.
